‘And the cream of princesses had fallen……i repeated my words over and over again.
In total disbelief of the reality of it all.
Was it an underlying message here…all my beloved ones being taken away!!
I sat down with my head in my hands …..sobbing .
First My Sahal….shocked us -unexpectedly leaving.
The tayyib ..pure soul that was suppose to be mine just yet.
and they say ….shes gone.
Why can’t i ever get things right???
They say she always wanted to be buried at night.
That was her modesty.
She didn’t even want to be seen whilst dead.
She could have told me this …..not to wait her answer so impatiently…
But ..Oh Daanyaal!! She didn’t know herself.
Death doesn’t warn us of it’s arrival…
It lies unknown.She must have also wanted to play merrily with my beard like how i wanted to swing her in my arms….
But..LIFE. is meant for ALLAH…No love except HIS,no BELOVED except HIM.
The more i thought about it …the more i began to cry.
The underlying message here was ..that we are here for ALLAH!!
And HE was teaching me that lesson by taking away those whom i had depended to bring me solace.
is only with HIM.
and everytime i lost hope in HIS plans….HE always showed me that HIS promises are true.
That if the whole world is against me but if HE is with me…..then
that is enough.
My whole life i had to pass through to realize that we are here to make Allah ours and for us to become HIS.
and even though i had inclined to things other than Allah in my life …
HE has proven that Everything is
Everything is baatil….Except Allah….
So..as much as her death has proven to shred the inner recesses of my heart..i have taken my heart out of the slavery of slaves into the slavery of the Rabb of the slaves.
Because ALLAH is now my secret that only my heart knows of!!
I saw the men make rows to pray her janazaah Salaah.
People looked at me with the eye of condolences ..
I wanted to scream and expire or become nasyamansiya..a forgotten entity….Nay the cream of Damsels had fallen…”
Little sprinkles of water was felt on my cheek..
“wake up…Yaa sayyidi..azaan for tahajud had just been called out” Her soft alluring tone woke me up.
i SPRUNG UP WITH JOY!
Rubbing my eyes and reciting my duaa for awaking…
I stared into her sparkling eyes glazed with innocence ..trying to fathom the reality .
Her gentle touch had proven to wipe out the shock of my dream.
Just a dream.
Huh!! Shukar.i wanted to touch her or pinch to see if i am really out of my dream …and the fact that she is real.
But as she brought my honey water seating herself in close proximity to me….i needed no other surety..
Makkah Sareef had been so full so i advised her to stay in the hotel.
Hajj period is quite busy.What could be better than Hajj with my other half.
As i turned one more time to look at her before proceeding to the Haram Sharief.
My mind drifted right to that day.The day Daanyaal was used as a second name…..Zawjah Daanyaal…
The cries of her family had made think of the words of my ustaad.’A living janazaah ,boys.When a girl is leaving her house.”
and then he read to us a poem written by a bride leaving her home.Recalling every word..it went like this…
‘Look the carriage has come
Let me weep till my heart is done
If i cannot weep as much as i would like
Just allow my heart to become light
I suppose i will have to leave
Leave the ties of love that seem impossible to retrieve,
What shall my abode be?
When i have to leave the affection and love showered on me
Leave the doting ,attention and affection.
Leave my parents ,sisters,brothers and their attraction,
I am breaking away from them all
i was the little chirping bird of the garden.
Oh has it really passed by,I beg your pardon.
Oh how blissful was the adolescence i spent
Everyone of my friends i could meet
With a heart wide open,with nothing descreet
Though i shall be leaving you all.
Never shall i forget you at all.
In my heart here shall always dwell..Until qiyaamat something to tell…………….
And so it continues sadly..then he read to us the reply of the mother…
‘Listen well,Oh my broken- hearted one
All that has happened is your trun to come
This period dawns on every child
This bridge is crossed by everyone meek and mild,
this time of separation does arrive
for all people in the world alive
The one who you call mother with such love
was also someones daughter their turtledove..
Everything stood still as her khala finally let her go.
I felt so bad like i was taking her way from her place of love…
But i realized that every sun has to rise at one place yet set at another.
We felt so complete ….being the sign of Allah ta’aala
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
We felt so spiritually rejuvenated that we are to each other a sign of Allah ta;aalas system …and HE says…
And We created you in pairs.
That night will forever be etched in my memory.What i say??How can i explain?? A night that i had a partner to stand in the obedience of Allah.
uhhhmm.Can i say Love in the valley of the beloved for the sake of the beloved.??
Perhaps can i phrase it as a partner in attaining the love of the beloved by being a lover of HIS beloved???
What ever words i use …we just know that…..
And Allah has made us in pairs.
And my pair is like no other.
So much ..i needed to thank my Allah ta’aala for blessing us with deen..Abdullah ,Zia and i..Allah has intended good for us and so HE has blessed us with deen.
That night Ummi Ayman left me with my mouth agape.
I had moved towards her but she advised thus
“I would like to begin like the way the wife of Qadhi Shuraih rahmatullah alayh explained to his friend Sh’abi rahmatulla alayh ,the manner in which his wife began when he was about to move towards her.
“Please wait a moment ,All praise is for Allah ,i praise HIm and seek His assistance.Blessings and salutations be upon Nabee salalAllahu alayhi wa sallam and HIS family.There were many women in your own tribe whom you could have married and there were many men in my tribe whom i could have married,but when Allah ta’aala decides upon a matter,it certainly comes to be .I am now in your care,so do as Allah has commanded,
“Retain her with honour or release her with kindness (Surah Bakarah)
We are strangers to each other .I donot know your nature and tempraments.Therefore i would appreciate if you inform me of your likes and dislikes so i could behave accordingly.With these words ,i end and i seek Allah ‘s forgiveness for us and all the muslims”
I gazed at her in shock.I am rest assured that No GIRL in durban had,has or will have the courage to begin ithe likes of this girl.She had chosen to emulate a woman from the Banu Tameem tribe in the way she had began speaking to her spouse and today in the books of history ..Qadhi shuraih’s advice to Sha’bi about his wife is still existing titled THE IDEAL MARRIAGE.
And even though i had read that story before..with her saying it..it had engulfed every paw on my body.
By Allah!! I could not help but reply in a similiar manner.Just like Qadhi Shuraih.
and so we began to being true servants of Rahmaan..
Together abiding by Qur’aan.
Together divorcing the arrows of the world in Desire that Allah must strike our heart with the arrow of HIS love.
In desire that The love of Allah should rise in our hearts and NEVER SET.
and even though my new bride and i slept on the floor that night…
We both were sure of the saying……of a poet.
“Tha’si rasul wa antha thuzhiru habbahu,inna lafil fiaalbadeeoo,law kaana hubaka saadiqan la ‘atha’thuhu .innal Muhhiba limayihubbu Mutheeun”
“You disobey the messanger,yet you claim to love HIM,indeed this is a very strange act,if your love was true you would have obeyed HIM,for verily a lover is ever obedient to his beloved”
As she complied to her words …being so humble and obedient we sat ..looking at the sun set on the shore of isipingo beach on that day of our nikaah ..i couldn’t help but recite the words of poetry that Qadhi Shuraih recited to his wife….
‘i have seen men beating their wives,May my hand be paralysed the day it strikes (Ummi Ayman)…
How can i strike the one who has done no wrong?
What justice am i displaying by beating the one who has not sinned?
(Ummi Ayman) is the sun and the other women are the stars….
When the sun rises…not a single star can be seen!!”
Of all the sunset’s that i experienced on the shore of Ib…..this one had proven the best…
For indeed…when my horizon has such a sun……i never ever want it to set…
and oh yes for the horizon of the world the sun has risen so many times but for the first time ever my horizon had experienced the rising of the sun..Ummi Ayman…
And together we will strive…till we die..to become of those who are Allah ‘s and Allah become ours….
and of all journeys i took began with a single step…..
However with her next to me ,when we are advancing to earn ALLAH himself..
we don’t advance alone..
because this journey began with both our steps..
Turning to Allah before …return to Allah……
Waiting for the true life…The life of Aakhiart..
because as Abba told me when i finished my hifdh ..that the world was made for us…But WE are made for Allah!!
Together we remember this till jaanat do us apart….
Thirsty we both will remain for the recognition of Rahmaan..to be intoxicated with the wine of HIS love…
And there will be circulated among them vessels of silver and cups having been [created] clear [as glass],
Clear glasses [made] from silver of which they have determined the measure.
And they will be given to drink a cup [of wine] whose mixture is of ginger
[From] a fountain within Paradise named Salsabeel.
There will circulate among them young boys made eternal. When you see them, you would think them [as beautiful as] scattered pearls.
So as she recites these veres to me as her dhor..she stops..and sobssss…..
and she manages to say in between……
“Please if you going into jannat..hold my hands with yours….
i held her hand …..in silence…as we both prayed for Janat
Do you love me?
Hold my hand and tell come lets pray,
tell me this is Haram and this is Halal,
give me a Quran and let us read together,
wake me up from my sleep and tell me: do not miss prayer,
help me do good, talk to me about Jannah,
advise me how to work for the afterlife,
and what’s important; say my name even if it’s at the end off your Duaa,
If you love me…
take me with you to Jannah.”
and these were the likes of my new life…..and that was my favourite sunset of Isipingo beach…
Evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. And good words are for good men, and good men are [an object] of good words. Those [good people] are declared innocent of what the slanderers say. For them is forgiveness and noble provision.
rabbana taqabal minna